In a letter to one of her patients in New York, Anais Nin speaks of affinity between our emotional attitude towards life and towards love. She quotes Gide: "he can do nothing for the happiness of others who does not know how to be happy himself." She also distinguishes between joy which can be contagious though egotistical and happiness which is deeper and can be given without possessing it.
Anais is happiest whenever she conquers what blocks her and is able to create something in the end. The process of creation itself may not bring happiness; in fact, it can be full of anguish and pain, but working and creating gives strength.This emotional strength, a large part of which is emotional attitude, brings us happiness in life and love.
Happiness usually requires action, activity, not passivity. You may feel happy watching your favorite TV show, but my guess is, you would feel happier in the end if you spent time creating something: a carrot cake, a poem to your lover, a picnic, a handwritten note to your mom, a painting of your girlfriend's favorite place.
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