After a session with her psychoanalyst, Anais Nin says,"I discuss with Bogner the unfortunate habit I have of cutting off friendships as soon as someone hurts me or betrays me. If they damage, disappoint me, I pack off and leave, and this is no solution. Even my novels are full of "cuts." "Cut!" says director Nin, as if it were a film being made, and one could cut out people's cruelties or thoughtlessness."
Dr. Bogner explains to Anais her need to relate to other people, but how everyone eventually commits "treachery," as Anais calls it. She has many friends who ask her for money or help of another kind, and these become burdens, demands for her. She feels hurt, used, and withdraws from the relationship.
Anais realizes that "by cutting off friendships, you create your own solitude." This can happen with family members as well. Those who are closest to us tend to hurt us the most. After we spend time with them or live with them, we expect them to love us perfectly; we hope that they will understand us completely, but they are only human and cannot do this. We set ourselves up for disappointment because no one can deliver what we need, this unconditional love. We want it; we try and try and try to get it, then we are disappointed when we don't receive it. But as Anais says, it is no solution to pack up and leave. What is the solution?
You have to realise that others can only act according to their level of consciousness,most people are slaves to their conditioning and are full of fear and will inevitably disappoint you,sooner or later,unless you raise your own level of consciousness using some spiritual method or potion from the Amazonian jungle,but the latter is only for the very brave ones! There are many methods for those that really want to evolve.Jesus was totally evolved and was able to forgive the Romans saying 'they know not what they do' Of course I couldn't hold a candle to Jesus but I and many others are learning that if you change yourself you change the world.People that hurt you will just quietly drop out of your life and be replaced by real people.Anais was born too soon,she would have got there.
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