August, 1934: Birth

Anais Nin is pregnant with Henry Miller's child, and she does not want to be a mother to a child; she feels like she is already a mother to so many other people who need her. And she wants to be free. She quotes D.H. Lawrence who says, "Do not bring any more children into the world; bring hope into the world." She also feels like bringing this child into the world would result in another child being abandoned by a father as she had been. She feels like not being born at all, dying in the warmth and safety of the womb, is better than being born then being abandoned in the cruel world. After "the birth" is over, she does feel some regret about the little girl she will never know but also feels a stronger connection with God as though she has had a religious experience.