Anais Nin had a fascination with D.H. Lawrence, probably because she felt they were like-minded. He awakened her sexually, and she looked at her marriage and men differently after reading him. She was so affected by him she wrote her first book, D.H. Lawrence, An Unprofessional Study, in 1932.
She writes that one must approach Lawrence with intellect, imagination and with physical feeling, in other words, with both body and soul, because he is a passionate poet. Anais quotes him as saying, "if a man loves life" he is obedient "to the urge that arises in the soul." Lawrence has an artist's eye, much imagination, and wants to experience everything and creates characters in his books that portray this; they are artists. He felt that what the body felt was real and natural; the mind interfered with the body by creating what it deemed as right and wrong. Listen to the body and let it lead us to fulfill our dreams. Openly express our feelings. Follow the flame. Be intuitive, sensitive. Participate in life with feeling.
Anais writes that "life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." Lawrence's philosophy was to live life deeply even when it is filled with failures and contradictions.
Swing from one extreme emotion to the next as poets do. Go through experiences then you'll have understanding.
Lawrence feels that human relationships between lovers involves finding a balance, leveling it out. Many relationships see-saw during interim periods before they achieve this balance and will likely continue to see-saw throughout the duration of the relationship as life happens to each person. There is a desire for connection, but it is difficult and takes time and patience and endurance and perseverance.
Anais loves to delve into analysis: she writes, "the first analysis of an event or a person yields a certain aspect. If we look at it again, it has another face. The further we progress in our reinterpretation, the more prismatic are the moods and the imaginings coordinating the facts differently each time. People who want a sane, static, measurable world take the first aspect of an event or person and stick to it, with an almost self-protective obstinacy, or by a natural limitation of their imaginations. They do not indulge in either deepening or magnifying."
She further states "the imagination is a constant deformer." Think of all the imaginary conversations and interactions you've had with people - all in your mind. Reality is so different from our obsessions. But what is life without wild imaginations that lead to dreams that transform you?
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
The Mystic of Sex
Anais Nin wrote this essay about D.H. Lawrence in October, 1930 under a pseudonym. It became the basis for her first book, D.H. Lawrence: An Unprofessional Study.
In it, she describes Lawrence as "against tepid living and tepid loves. He resented the lack of feeling in people, or what is worse, the lack of expression of such feelings; he wanted a fulfillment of physical life equal to the mental; he wanted to reawaken impulse, and the clairvoyance of our intuitions." He had an emotional knowledge that appealed to her.
She understood him; she identified with him; his words resonated with her. Even though Lawrence writes about sex, he does so with sensitivity, as a poet would. Anais writes that "he described perfectly two sides of life: the sexual and the mystical." The physical and a second world.
Anais Nin's study of D.H. Lawrence helped her discover herself, both as a writer and as a woman.
In it, she describes Lawrence as "against tepid living and tepid loves. He resented the lack of feeling in people, or what is worse, the lack of expression of such feelings; he wanted a fulfillment of physical life equal to the mental; he wanted to reawaken impulse, and the clairvoyance of our intuitions." He had an emotional knowledge that appealed to her.
She understood him; she identified with him; his words resonated with her. Even though Lawrence writes about sex, he does so with sensitivity, as a poet would. Anais writes that "he described perfectly two sides of life: the sexual and the mystical." The physical and a second world.
Anais Nin's study of D.H. Lawrence helped her discover herself, both as a writer and as a woman.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
A Slippery Floor
This is the last story in the Waste of Timelessness and Other Early Stories collection. In it, a woman named Anita who seems to represent Anais Nin is a Spanish dancer: "she wanted a fantastic destiny instead of a wise one, brilliance instead of harmony, endless voyages, the perpetually shifting ground of stage life, rather than security."
Anita's mother in the story seems to represent her father in real life: "I had a Mother I have never known who never denied herself of any whim, however much it hurt others. She left home on account of one of them. I just got it into my head I would be as unlike my Mother as possible." Anita's mother is an actress and always uses this as an excuse for her behavior.
After a few months of performances, a woman appears in Anita's dressing room after the show. It is her mother, who goes by her stage name of Vivien and who approves of Anita because of her profession; Vivien feels she and Anita have a bond. Her mother invites Anita to her home for supper. Then, she invites Anita to live in her home. Before long, Anita meets Norman, her mother's lover.
Vivien has affairs with other men but always goes back to Norman. He is about ready to leave her for good and is intrigued by Anita. Before long, Anita is posing for Norman who is an artist. They talk and spend time together and develop feelings for each other.
Anita wants to find out how alike or different she and her mother are. She approaches her mother and tells her there is a man who loves her, but he is with another woman; she asks for advice. Her mother tells her not to think of the other woman, not to let anything get in the way of love.
But Anita doesn't want to be like her mother; she wants to resist the temptation of taking another woman's man. She leaves her mother's home. Vivien believes that Anita has been cruel but can't see the cruelty of her own actions. Norman is hurt by Anita's leaving and tells Vivien he is leaving her to find Anita. Vivien is left alone.
There's A Slippery Floor out there. Take care of the feelings of others or you'll fall down as Vivien did.
Anita's mother in the story seems to represent her father in real life: "I had a Mother I have never known who never denied herself of any whim, however much it hurt others. She left home on account of one of them. I just got it into my head I would be as unlike my Mother as possible." Anita's mother is an actress and always uses this as an excuse for her behavior.
After a few months of performances, a woman appears in Anita's dressing room after the show. It is her mother, who goes by her stage name of Vivien and who approves of Anita because of her profession; Vivien feels she and Anita have a bond. Her mother invites Anita to her home for supper. Then, she invites Anita to live in her home. Before long, Anita meets Norman, her mother's lover.
Vivien has affairs with other men but always goes back to Norman. He is about ready to leave her for good and is intrigued by Anita. Before long, Anita is posing for Norman who is an artist. They talk and spend time together and develop feelings for each other.
Anita wants to find out how alike or different she and her mother are. She approaches her mother and tells her there is a man who loves her, but he is with another woman; she asks for advice. Her mother tells her not to think of the other woman, not to let anything get in the way of love.
But Anita doesn't want to be like her mother; she wants to resist the temptation of taking another woman's man. She leaves her mother's home. Vivien believes that Anita has been cruel but can't see the cruelty of her own actions. Norman is hurt by Anita's leaving and tells Vivien he is leaving her to find Anita. Vivien is left alone.
There's A Slippery Floor out there. Take care of the feelings of others or you'll fall down as Vivien did.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
A Spoiled Party
Mrs. Stellem wanted her party to be perfect. She dressed for it; she planned for it. Then a stranger - a woman - came to the party, and Mrs. Stellem became obsessed with who this woman was, who invited her, why she was here. The stranger was costumed beautifully and smiled constantly.
As the party wore on, it became ruined by the stranger. No one laughed while she was around; conversations ended in her presence. The party was dying much too soon, so Mrs. Stellem approached the stranger to ask her to leave.
When she looked into the eyes of the stranger, Mrs. Stellem could see that the strange woman could see right through her. She could see that her home, clothes, friends and marriage were a joke and not powerful or successful at all.
As the party wore on, it became ruined by the stranger. No one laughed while she was around; conversations ended in her presence. The party was dying much too soon, so Mrs. Stellem approached the stranger to ask her to leave.
When she looked into the eyes of the stranger, Mrs. Stellem could see that the strange woman could see right through her. She could see that her home, clothes, friends and marriage were a joke and not powerful or successful at all.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Faithfulness
This story has a couple of parts. In the first part, Aline is visited by Alban, a man she met at a party. He notes that her eyes are "tragically discontented," that she makes concessions to her husband (e.g. there are Economic Magazines lying around), and that she is "mentally unaccompanied." He predicts that she is going to have a lonely life of domesticity and that she is already so unhappy. The cure, he says, is friends.
After he left she reflected on what he said. It was true that she spent most days talking to herself. She began to look at her husband differently. She noted that he wore heavy suits and talked little and did things systematically.
In the second part of the story, Aline and her husband go to a party at Mr. Bellows' home; her husband gets tired, and they go home early. Bellows comes to Aline's home when her husband is away and plays musical portraits that he feels resembles various people. For Aline's husband, the music is scholarly and precise. He plays a portrait of Aline and her husband together - a "fantastic strain. In the middle of it he stopped with a violent dissonance." Bellows tells Aline that he could tell she doesn't love her husband.
When her husband comes home, she expresses anger that someone insists she doesn't love him, that she bravely hides her unhappiness. Her husband responds, "You dear, faithful, honest, little wife." How ironic.
After he left she reflected on what he said. It was true that she spent most days talking to herself. She began to look at her husband differently. She noted that he wore heavy suits and talked little and did things systematically.
In the second part of the story, Aline and her husband go to a party at Mr. Bellows' home; her husband gets tired, and they go home early. Bellows comes to Aline's home when her husband is away and plays musical portraits that he feels resembles various people. For Aline's husband, the music is scholarly and precise. He plays a portrait of Aline and her husband together - a "fantastic strain. In the middle of it he stopped with a violent dissonance." Bellows tells Aline that he could tell she doesn't love her husband.
When her husband comes home, she expresses anger that someone insists she doesn't love him, that she bravely hides her unhappiness. Her husband responds, "You dear, faithful, honest, little wife." How ironic.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
The Peacock Feathers
This story is about peacock feathers bringing back luck when kept in the house, a superstition that holds true today, especially for actors and musicians.
A woman singer is given peacock feathers as a gift after a performance. Her husband of many years wrote her a farewell note shortly thereafter. She continued singing, met a composer, and one day at a concert he killed himself while she was singing. The episode ruined the applause she would normally have received.
She kept the peacock feathers and wrote her memoirs. They were received poorly and seen as calculated; she blamed the peacock feathers because she had written the memoirs with a pen made out of one of them.
The woman smoked a long pipe she was offered in a Hindu home. When she stopped smoking, she lost energy, looked old, lost her beautiful singing voice, but she continued smoking because it lulled her.
Her life was destroyed, and she was able to blame the peacock feathers.
A woman singer is given peacock feathers as a gift after a performance. Her husband of many years wrote her a farewell note shortly thereafter. She continued singing, met a composer, and one day at a concert he killed himself while she was singing. The episode ruined the applause she would normally have received.
She kept the peacock feathers and wrote her memoirs. They were received poorly and seen as calculated; she blamed the peacock feathers because she had written the memoirs with a pen made out of one of them.
The woman smoked a long pipe she was offered in a Hindu home. When she stopped smoking, she lost energy, looked old, lost her beautiful singing voice, but she continued smoking because it lulled her.
Her life was destroyed, and she was able to blame the peacock feathers.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
The Idealist
They meet in an art class where Edward insists the class is drawing the wrong model; he feels they should be drawing Chantal instead. She agrees that the model has "an awful lot to dispose of" and has drawn a more refined version of her.
Edward criticized Chantal's drawing tools and helped her select more appropriate ones at a shop. They go for coffee at the Viking afterwards where she realizes he views her as someone from another time and place rather than the woman she actually is. He is idealizing, dreaming.
They have discussions about books and art and feel "mental communion."
One day the class realizes the model is cold and hungry. Edward becomes obsessed by the model; he needs her and cannot be satisfied. Chantal is no longer his ideal.
Edward criticized Chantal's drawing tools and helped her select more appropriate ones at a shop. They go for coffee at the Viking afterwards where she realizes he views her as someone from another time and place rather than the woman she actually is. He is idealizing, dreaming.
They have discussions about books and art and feel "mental communion."
One day the class realizes the model is cold and hungry. Edward becomes obsessed by the model; he needs her and cannot be satisfied. Chantal is no longer his ideal.
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