Anais is invited to speak in public, giving a short lecture, and reading a passage from This Hunger. It is her fear, speaking in public. She wears her favorite outfit. She stands, rather than sits, to give her performance.
In her Diary, she analyzes the ordeal and the mastery of shyness. "As children, we are made to feel we will only be loved if we are good (in the parent's terms). As soon as we begin to affirm our real selves, parents begin to reject us. We grow up with the idea that if we are ourselves we will be rejected. So, as artists, in our work we express our real self. But we keep the fear of not being loved for this real self. And timidity and shyness are the symptoms. A timidity we can overcome with those who understand and accept us. Now when I have to face the world with my real self exposed in the writing, there is a crisis. Am I going to be accepted, approved, loved, or punished and rejected? Hence the fear. Last night I took this chance and won," she says.
No comments:
Post a Comment