This story is about peacock feathers bringing back luck when kept in the house, a superstition that holds true today, especially for actors and musicians.
A woman singer is given peacock feathers as a gift after a performance. Her husband of many years wrote her a farewell note shortly thereafter. She continued singing, met a composer, and one day at a concert he killed himself while she was singing. The episode ruined the applause she would normally have received.
She kept the peacock feathers and wrote her memoirs. They were received poorly and seen as calculated; she blamed the peacock feathers because she had written the memoirs with a pen made out of one of them.
The woman smoked a long pipe she was offered in a Hindu home. When she stopped smoking, she lost energy, looked old, lost her beautiful singing voice, but she continued smoking because it lulled her.
Her life was destroyed, and she was able to blame the peacock feathers.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
The Idealist
They meet in an art class where Edward insists the class is drawing the wrong model; he feels they should be drawing Chantal instead. She agrees that the model has "an awful lot to dispose of" and has drawn a more refined version of her.
Edward criticized Chantal's drawing tools and helped her select more appropriate ones at a shop. They go for coffee at the Viking afterwards where she realizes he views her as someone from another time and place rather than the woman she actually is. He is idealizing, dreaming.
They have discussions about books and art and feel "mental communion."
One day the class realizes the model is cold and hungry. Edward becomes obsessed by the model; he needs her and cannot be satisfied. Chantal is no longer his ideal.
Edward criticized Chantal's drawing tools and helped her select more appropriate ones at a shop. They go for coffee at the Viking afterwards where she realizes he views her as someone from another time and place rather than the woman she actually is. He is idealizing, dreaming.
They have discussions about books and art and feel "mental communion."
One day the class realizes the model is cold and hungry. Edward becomes obsessed by the model; he needs her and cannot be satisfied. Chantal is no longer his ideal.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Tishnar
This little story is about a woman who dreams of being invisible, of being left alone, of being in another world, and when her dream finally comes true, she realizes she doesn't want those things at all.
It's a foggy day in Paris; the woman is walking, and things seem as if in a dream. She boards a bus and realizes it is destined for "another world" and won't stop until it gets there. She pleads with the conductor to stop, let her get off the bus. He says that people often make the same mistake she has been: wishing to be taken away.
But when they realize what they are leaving behind, they realize they really don't want to go.
It's a foggy day in Paris; the woman is walking, and things seem as if in a dream. She boards a bus and realizes it is destined for "another world" and won't stop until it gets there. She pleads with the conductor to stop, let her get off the bus. He says that people often make the same mistake she has been: wishing to be taken away.
But when they realize what they are leaving behind, they realize they really don't want to go.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Alchemy
This is Anais Nin's "Great Writer" story, which she finished in December, 1930. She felt it was good and was satisfied with it, but Titus, her editor, did not like it, and it was rejected by Vogue.
In the story, visitors come to the home of the "great writer." They notice the front gate to the home which is not exactly as described in the book - the books describes a gate which is a composite of this gate and the neighbor's. They recognize the servants from the stories, although some of their traits are not exactly as described in them.
The great writer's wife greets the visitors and admits she has been the muse for three of his characters and that their white poodle was the muse for children he described in his stories. The visitors leave the home and realize the great writer takes elements from his real life and mixes them (like a chemist would) to create new elements, thus turning ordinary people, places, and things into something extraordinary.
In the story, visitors come to the home of the "great writer." They notice the front gate to the home which is not exactly as described in the book - the books describes a gate which is a composite of this gate and the neighbor's. They recognize the servants from the stories, although some of their traits are not exactly as described in them.
The great writer's wife greets the visitors and admits she has been the muse for three of his characters and that their white poodle was the muse for children he described in his stories. The visitors leave the home and realize the great writer takes elements from his real life and mixes them (like a chemist would) to create new elements, thus turning ordinary people, places, and things into something extraordinary.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Our Minds are Engaged
This is a story written by Anais Nin around 1930. It seems to be drawn from her relationship with her cousin Eduardo.
The woman in the story is fragile, pale, timid, working on a play, with a carefully arranged home that serves as a background to her "imaginative costumes," reading D.H. Lawrence.
The man in the story uses "feline gestures," has a "lavish voice," has been in love with both women and men. He wants a weak woman, a woman like the woman in the story used to be when she was a teenager when they met. She has grown into a woman who knows and understands herself and is no longer weak.
The woman and man were never lovers. They had an intellectual connection, and once that was formed, it was awkward to evolve towards a physical connection. They talked about art and writing, dreams and fulfillment.
Their relationship has never been defined, has tension, needs resolution. She realizes in the end that he is not capable of loving her. He wants to dominate. He wants to be the better writer. She has become a strong woman, and they both know it. A relationship as lovers would never work. Resolution has been reached.
The woman in the story is fragile, pale, timid, working on a play, with a carefully arranged home that serves as a background to her "imaginative costumes," reading D.H. Lawrence.
The man in the story uses "feline gestures," has a "lavish voice," has been in love with both women and men. He wants a weak woman, a woman like the woman in the story used to be when she was a teenager when they met. She has grown into a woman who knows and understands herself and is no longer weak.
The woman and man were never lovers. They had an intellectual connection, and once that was formed, it was awkward to evolve towards a physical connection. They talked about art and writing, dreams and fulfillment.
Their relationship has never been defined, has tension, needs resolution. She realizes in the end that he is not capable of loving her. He wants to dominate. He wants to be the better writer. She has become a strong woman, and they both know it. A relationship as lovers would never work. Resolution has been reached.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Red Roses
A woman wanted, "desired most painfully," red roses. She could not wait patiently for them to come to her naturally, in time, delivered by someone else when THEY were ready to send them. She needed them now when SHE was ready.
She had them delivered to her home, marked, "from your lover." The beautiful red roses lit up her poor, decrepit house. She cannot bear the joy the red roses bring to her; she feels like a woman now, having been sent red roses by a man, a lover. She has changed. Her desires have been fulfilled and she cannot bear it. The pleasure was too great.
She takes the red roses to the church and offers them there.
She had them delivered to her home, marked, "from your lover." The beautiful red roses lit up her poor, decrepit house. She cannot bear the joy the red roses bring to her; she feels like a woman now, having been sent red roses by a man, a lover. She has changed. Her desires have been fulfilled and she cannot bear it. The pleasure was too great.
She takes the red roses to the church and offers them there.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
A Dangerous Perfume
This is another story written around 1930 and published in 1977 in "Waste of Timelessness." As with many of her stories, it appears to be about Anais Nin herself.
Lyndell is the character which I believe represents Anais. She is wearing "her most becoming costume," attending to some uninteresting business which does not make her happy: meeting with a former landlady. When Lyndell lived in the apartment, "she had enlivened it with vivid colored pottery, silk hangings and colored lamps." Now it was dull and gray.
The landlady was upset because the apartment still smelled of Lyndell's perfume and couldn't be lived in anymore, couldn't be slept in. The perfume reminded the landlady of Lyndell and her "splendid dresses" and "strangely altered face." The landlady is jealous of Lyndell because she creates around herself "a sort of misty and treacherous atmosphere." She tells Lyndell, "everything about you looks beautiful. You have a gift for setting, for poses, and gestures, for clothing yourself. Your voice has a peculiar tremor, and your face is haunting."
The landlady wants to be like Lyndell, wants to be interesting and have interesting experiences, such as entertaining men who are not her husband. When the landlady learns that the man Lyndell entertained was not a lover, that he only kissed her once, it changes her entire perception of Lyndell and the apartment and the perfume, and she now feels the apartment can be lived in.
Lyndell is the character which I believe represents Anais. She is wearing "her most becoming costume," attending to some uninteresting business which does not make her happy: meeting with a former landlady. When Lyndell lived in the apartment, "she had enlivened it with vivid colored pottery, silk hangings and colored lamps." Now it was dull and gray.
The landlady was upset because the apartment still smelled of Lyndell's perfume and couldn't be lived in anymore, couldn't be slept in. The perfume reminded the landlady of Lyndell and her "splendid dresses" and "strangely altered face." The landlady is jealous of Lyndell because she creates around herself "a sort of misty and treacherous atmosphere." She tells Lyndell, "everything about you looks beautiful. You have a gift for setting, for poses, and gestures, for clothing yourself. Your voice has a peculiar tremor, and your face is haunting."
The landlady wants to be like Lyndell, wants to be interesting and have interesting experiences, such as entertaining men who are not her husband. When the landlady learns that the man Lyndell entertained was not a lover, that he only kissed her once, it changes her entire perception of Lyndell and the apartment and the perfume, and she now feels the apartment can be lived in.
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