A woman wanted, "desired most painfully," red roses. She could not wait patiently for them to come to her naturally, in time, delivered by someone else when THEY were ready to send them. She needed them now when SHE was ready.
She had them delivered to her home, marked, "from your lover." The beautiful red roses lit up her poor, decrepit house. She cannot bear the joy the red roses bring to her; she feels like a woman now, having been sent red roses by a man, a lover. She has changed. Her desires have been fulfilled and she cannot bear it. The pleasure was too great.
She takes the red roses to the church and offers them there.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
A Dangerous Perfume
This is another story written around 1930 and published in 1977 in "Waste of Timelessness." As with many of her stories, it appears to be about Anais Nin herself.
Lyndell is the character which I believe represents Anais. She is wearing "her most becoming costume," attending to some uninteresting business which does not make her happy: meeting with a former landlady. When Lyndell lived in the apartment, "she had enlivened it with vivid colored pottery, silk hangings and colored lamps." Now it was dull and gray.
The landlady was upset because the apartment still smelled of Lyndell's perfume and couldn't be lived in anymore, couldn't be slept in. The perfume reminded the landlady of Lyndell and her "splendid dresses" and "strangely altered face." The landlady is jealous of Lyndell because she creates around herself "a sort of misty and treacherous atmosphere." She tells Lyndell, "everything about you looks beautiful. You have a gift for setting, for poses, and gestures, for clothing yourself. Your voice has a peculiar tremor, and your face is haunting."
The landlady wants to be like Lyndell, wants to be interesting and have interesting experiences, such as entertaining men who are not her husband. When the landlady learns that the man Lyndell entertained was not a lover, that he only kissed her once, it changes her entire perception of Lyndell and the apartment and the perfume, and she now feels the apartment can be lived in.
Lyndell is the character which I believe represents Anais. She is wearing "her most becoming costume," attending to some uninteresting business which does not make her happy: meeting with a former landlady. When Lyndell lived in the apartment, "she had enlivened it with vivid colored pottery, silk hangings and colored lamps." Now it was dull and gray.
The landlady was upset because the apartment still smelled of Lyndell's perfume and couldn't be lived in anymore, couldn't be slept in. The perfume reminded the landlady of Lyndell and her "splendid dresses" and "strangely altered face." The landlady is jealous of Lyndell because she creates around herself "a sort of misty and treacherous atmosphere." She tells Lyndell, "everything about you looks beautiful. You have a gift for setting, for poses, and gestures, for clothing yourself. Your voice has a peculiar tremor, and your face is haunting."
The landlady wants to be like Lyndell, wants to be interesting and have interesting experiences, such as entertaining men who are not her husband. When the landlady learns that the man Lyndell entertained was not a lover, that he only kissed her once, it changes her entire perception of Lyndell and the apartment and the perfume, and she now feels the apartment can be lived in.
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